"Yesterday Never Comes" was the 4th episode of the 3rd series of Only Fools And Horses, airing on the 1st December 1983 with a viewing figure of 10.6 million. Derek "Del Boy" Trotter fancies himself as an antiques dealer, he has dated many antiques, according to Rodney Trotter.
The lifts have broken down again. Derek "Del Boy" Trotter, Rodney Trotter and Grandad Trotter are helping each other carry an antique looking cabinet across the hallway. Del has bought it. Del reckons the cabinet is a Queen Anne cabinet. He plans to sell it as a fake and gets Rodney to buy some nails to put the door back on that had broken off.
A few days later Rodney reads Del's advert in the newspaper advertising the cabinet as antique. Rodney knows Del is going to scam whoever buys it. A lady has shown interest and comes round, her name is Miranda Davenport, she runs an antiques shop in Chelsea. When Del first answers the door, he thinks it is the woman whose Mercedes he backed into the other day, he must have given her his address. Miranda twigs the cabinet is not antique as it is circa 1955 and is a Fyffe's box, a banana box and is infested with woodworm.
She sees a painting on the wall of the Trotters flat. It is a valuable work by 19th-century painter Joshua Blythe, and Del says he does not know how valuable it is, Miranda worms her way into Del's affections by agreeing to tart the cabinet up. She gets the painting as a birthday gift from Del. The painting is a family heirloom, once owned by Del's late grandmother Violet. Del thinks he is in love and later heads to Miranda's shop, an old man called Harry says the shop is shut due to woodworm, but Miranda is at an auction room down the road on the left, called Allistons. Del says he will go and see her there.
Del arrives with a huge bunch of flowers and Miranda is embarrassed to see Del there. Del says he will meet her at a wine bar round the corner. As he is leaving he sees the auctioneer starting to bid for a 19th century painting by Joshua Blythe. Del turns round and sees it is his painting. Del finds out that Miranda had pretended to like him in order to get the painting off him to put up for auction and make a good profit and has registered the painting in her name as well as had her parents sign an affidavit to state that it has been in her family for generations. Del's reaction to this is relief, and tells Miranda that he's been trying to get rid of it for years. It emerges that he knew full well who painted the picture and that it was worth thousands. Miranda inquires how he would know, and Del tells her that his grandmother worked as a cleaning lady to an art dealer and stole the painting. As the painting is bought, Del wishes Miranda luck and leaves her to an ominous fate just as two men begin to inspect the painting's legitimacy. Del plonks the flowers on her lap and says "Good luck sweetheart" before leaving.
- Derek "Del Boy" Trotter - David Jason
- Rodney Trotter - Nicholas Lyndhurst
- "Grandad" - Lennard Pearce
- Mrs Murphy - Lucita Lijertwood
- Miranda Davenport - Juliet Hammond-Hill
- Auctioneer - Garard Green
- Harry - Robert Vahey
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- The idea for the script was based on John Sullivan's friend's mother, who was a charlady at an art gallery.